Success Is More Than Winning a Wrestling Match

Tayven Kem – Ravage Wrestling Club (UT)

By Bill X. Barron

Tayven Kem’s father, Sam, began coaching him at age four, along with uncles Rad, Hayden, and Sammy, as well as cousins Jaden and Amari, all of whom wrestled. Despite being born into a wrestling family, Tayven had to unveil his own calling, discover his passion, respect his potential, and then unleash his unique purpose.

“I've been around the sport my whole life,” cites Tayven. “There’s a really cool picture my parents took of me when I was almost 1 month old, sleeping on my dad's wrestling shoes. It’s so funny because I was the same size as his shoe.”

As Tayven humbly admits, “In my first season, I lost 38 straight matches before I won my first match ever. That experience taught me to be humble, become disciplined, and I will never forget the feeling of losing. I learned that every loss gives me an opportunity to get better and develop my character.”

In his second year of wrestling, Tayven competed in his first RMN national tournament in May 2019. He competed in both folkstyle and freestyle, but he lost all ten matches in two days. 

Just the same, Tay asserts that the experience “motivated me to improve. Early on, I learned that the best wrestlers compete at RMN.” This realization created within Tayven the discipline and the determination to match and exceed his opponents’ best efforts. 

More recently, Tayven has come to dominate the most challenging events on the Rocky Mountain National circuit, earning consecutive championships in the RMN Nationals (2023-25), Freak Show (4 years straight), and D-Day (past four years).

Contrast his initial exposure to this challenging sport with his most recent season, six years of hard work later. For the 2024-25 RMN season, Tayven went undefeated while competing in every 10U bracket at 69, 73, and 77 pounds, earning three separate weight class championships in each of the eleven RMN tournaments in which he participated.

He is now a 3-time Triple Crown winner (3 RMN championships), 2-time Ring of Fame recipient, 2-time World Belt winner (6 titles), and 2-time Tri-State Belt recognitions. Announced recently, Tayven has made the 2025 World of Wrestling All-Star team. 

An inspired Tayven declares, “RMN will always be a part of me. It is definitely the best way to get better quickly.” Instead of allowing failure to define his wrestling, Tayven embraced the work necessary to sharpen the iron reflex that produces success. 

“Defining 'success' is complicated,” states Sam, “because it varies depending on the wrestler, and more often than not, it goes beyond wrestling. Let me start by saying 'success' doesn't translate to 'winning' and 'winning' doesn't translate to 'success'. 

“Having courage in the face of struggle is success; learning from a trial is success; humility and compassion in victory is success; effort in silence is success. I know there are more examples – even as a coach, my own pursuit for success is still a work in progress.”

“Even with all the hard work, you will have off days,” relates young Kem. “Leave these in your rearview mirror and move ahead. It can only hurt you if you beat yourself up. Be grateful for moments that challenge you to be at your best.’

“There is uniqueness about RMN. Our first national tournament was RMN – and they have been our go-to events ever since,” acknowledges Sam. “RMN has always been the stake in the game, the measuring stick to see how good we are.

“It's pretty humbling that so many RMN tournaments have marked many more significant moments in my son’s journey. We share a strong relationship with RMN. They've been supportive of me and my team. At least one Ravage wrestler has attended every RMN event in recent years. 

“One of the most extraordinary parts of the RMN experience is when Ed Gutierrez announces all the participating states at the start of the tournament. When that happens, you know it's special. After seeing the brackets, you get so excited that you cannot sleep. 

“Next comes the part that never gets old: when the lights go off and the countdown begins, and all the matches start at the same time – that's something everyone deserves to experience.

“RMN is vital for our athletes. They are ready for that bigger stage, but they need to prove it to themselves. It calls for more discipline—and a reason for the butterflies in the stomach! This environment demands that we be just as competitive.”

Whether improving himself or helping others become more successful, his father, Sam, comments that “Tayven is quiet and reserved. Behind his soft-spoken personality is a kid with a determined mindset and a love for wrestling, his team, and his family.

“For the past year, Tayven has been teaching practice lessons; he is dedicated to passing on his knowledge to future athletes. It's amazing to see how patient he is and to observe his passion for the sport in the way he gives back.”

Coach Kem describes Tayven’s journey as character-building. “Adversity on the mat teaches you how to train for life. Mistakes do not define you; they are the moments when you learn the most about yourself.”

Initially, as a coach, Sam believed that he was responsible for his wrestlers’ wins and losses. “Now, I look forward to the moment when they acknowledge that they are good enough to coach themselves or be coached by a teammate.

“I spent years away from the mat until Tayven was four, which is when I decided to become his coach. Then my mentor and best friend, Rad Martinez, convinced me to take a step forward to make it more than my kid. Tayven’s success shed light on the sport and paved the way forward for him and his teammates.

“The character of coaching and wrestling comes when you learn to separate yourself from losses or wins. At the same time, you need to recognize the times to be there as a coach, such as after a loss, when they need support, insight, and challenge. 

“The moments we most remember are those when someone was there by your side. Tayven didn’t have the best results at first, but together, we had to get better. Experiencing a loss reminds us of how hard we are trying to win.”

Although Ravage is a smaller club than many, all members enjoy competing against top rivals in events across numerous states. With 20 participants at this year’s RMN Terminator, Ravage finished second in the team standings. Earlier this year, they won the team championship at the Games of Rome.

Our assistant coach, Chris Smart, emphasizes effort and attitude. Regardless of the outcome, these are the two aspects you can control. Our associate head coach, Keith Mondragon, reminds us “how much the little wins add up.” For these core principles, Tayven continues to be a role model for his team, and he doesn’t hesitate to stand by any teammate. 

Sam adds, "I'm a small part compared to my family of coaches, who truly carry the weight of the team: Hayden Hewitt, Luke Jordan, Tommy Gualtier, Jacob Christenson, Beau Baker, CJ Nordin, Brook Hardee, the Ogden's (Eric, Harmony, Gage, Brecken), Josh Tibbs, Eddie Black, Robert Sorenson, and Marissa Mancilla.

“We could not do everything we do without all our dedicated parents who give their time, gear, energy, and knowledge; they are what Ravage is. Tayven and I are just lucky to be part of it. Most importantly, Tayven's biggest fan is his mom, Jayme, who bears the greatest responsibility and makes the biggest sacrifices for his dream." 

“Family is what is most unique about our club,” declares Sam. “We have so much support, contributors, and diversity in the room. When varying styles, ideas, and knowledge come together, it creates an environment that thrives on work ethic and mental strength to level up the wrestling room.

“As a coach, I must balance competition and support. I do this by emphasizing character and ensuring our entire team is in the corner for each person's individual bout. Their love for one another is incredible!

“We have built a team culture where they can handle adversity. Besides preparing for their own matches, they need to experience being in someone else's corner and spend time helping each other get better.”

Concludes Tayven: “The sport of wrestling has had a huge impact on my life. If I weren't wrestling, I wouldn't even know what to do with my free time. Wrestling provides an outlet for my energy. It has taught me to be respectful, humble, and confident in myself. I have learned that I must dedicate myself to the work to become who I am capable of being.

“I am just as disciplined in school as I am in wrestling. Being a student comes first, athletics second. Achieving my academic goals will help me succeed in life, like in college. Dad is a technical engineer, so I am thinking about following in his footsteps.

“I want to inspire people to pursue their dreams, not just in wrestling. If I become successful in wrestling, I hope people can see me as a mentor. If I can achieve the same outside of wrestling, I welcome the additional opportunity for leadership.”